


The comfort of your touch

by Merlins_little_sister



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Best Friends, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, Merthur - Freeform, Merthur hugs, Prince Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Soulmates, Touch starved Arthur, arthur being an idiot, not a native speaker, touches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28028001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merlins_little_sister/pseuds/Merlins_little_sister
Summary: Arthur is yearning for the small moments of physical contact that he shares with Merlin.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 252





	The comfort of your touch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TakeMeToGlasgow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakeMeToGlasgow/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Merthur Touches](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/725016) by thatone-nerdygirl. 



> I love all your headcanons and I really hope you like this story. I had so much fun writing it.  
> Many thanks to my beta [@ursus-mari!](https://ursus-mari.tumblr.com/)
> 
> \- 
> 
> If you wanna find me on Tumblr, my URL is [@waiting4thedoctor.](https://waiting4thedoctor.tumblr.com/)  
> Send me a message, or leave a comment here, or even just kudos. This means so much!

"Is there any chance we could have a hug?" Merlin asks him. He keeps asking this question whenever he doesn't feel well, whenever Arthur doesn't feel well, and sometimes he even asks without any obvious reason. It's not that Arthur doesn't want to say yes, he really does, but he is a prince. He can't be seen hugging his servant, right? Even though they are technically alone now, it doesn't change that he is still a prince. 

The thing about being a royal is that people always keep a certain level of distance. First, there is the problem of him having a higher rank than most people in Camelot, which means that he has to initiate physical contact with others if he wants to have it, because they are simply not allowed to come anywhere near him. Second, there is the problem that people have to show him respect, he doesn't actually have to earn it, like other people do, which results in him not having any real friends. The only people that could actually hug him, or touch him at all, are his sister and his father, neither of which is the most affectionate person on earth. All of this means that Arthur is hardly ever touched by anyone more than actually necessary, and it drives him insane. Arthur wants to be hugged, he wants to be held, he wants to be comforted. Even just as much as a friendly clap on the shoulder. But it hardly ever happens, because it doesn't go with the protocol. And as a prince, Arthur must stick to the protocol. There is nothing he can do about it. 

When Arthur was a child, he had nurses, of course. The nurses hugged him, they comforted him, they treated him like a normal boy, not like a prince. He was a happy child. The protocol is different for children. Eventually though, he grew up. When he was about 10 years old, his father decided that he had to be treated like a prince, and that he should learn to behave like the king he would be one day. 

And everyone just obeys. Unfortunately, though, people tend to forget that he is more than just a prince. He is also a human being with feelings and certain needs. He is still Arthur. 

Arthur hates it, he hates that people hardly ever treat him like more than just the prince of Camelot. He hates that it will only get worse when he is king. That's why he is very thankful for his personal manservant. 

Because the only person in his life who is not bothered by any of these behavioral rules, never was, in fact, is Merlin.

It's not that Merlin is disrespectful. Merlin is probably the most loyal servant he has ever had, and he shows Arthur a great deal of respect, but not because he has to do it. He does it because he wants to.

Merlin is the only friend he has, and probably the only person who will ever initiate physical contact, and he still can't do anything about it, at least not in public. 

He has to say no every time Merlin asks for a hug. 

But the thing is, he never actually says no. He always tries to avoid the question, at least when they are alone. Just like now. 

"Come on, Merlin. You know the answer." He gives Merlin a look that he hopes is annoyed enough to make him stop. 

"You keep saying that, Arthur. But you never actually answer the question. Can we have a hug, yes or no?" He opens his arms invitingly, but keeps his distance. 

"Shut up, Merlin. Don't you have things to do?" 

"See?" Merlin shrugs. "That's not an answer." But he lets Arthur be anyway. Merlin isn't stupid. He knows Arthur, he knows the rules. And he bends them. 

Many years pass in which Merlin is Arthur's servant, his friend, and a constant in his life. They spend almost every day with each other, and eventually Arthur stops thinking about their interactions altogether. He stops worrying and completely lets his guard down when he’s around Merlin. By the time Arthur is crowned king, their relationship has gotten so strong that neither of them can even imagine a life without the other.

As of late, however, Arthur has been increasingly aware of Merlin's touches. Every single touch sends a shiver through his body. And they touch  _ a lot.  _ Arthur had never realized how much they touch each other. He wonders if this is a normal part of close friendships, or if it is something else entirely. 

Arthur finds himself yearning for these small moments of contact. Whenever Merlin is around, it's almost impossible for them to refrain from touching each other. 

He notices the small things at first. The way Merlin's hands accidentally brush against his when they walk, and how Merlin stands just this tiny little bit too close when he dresses him. Then he notices how Merlin keeps adjusting his clothes for perfect fit, even when he already looks neat and perfect. 

He also notices his own way of responding to these touches, such as how he pats Merlin's shoulder much more than necessary. Every morning he pretends to be asleep, because he knows that Merlin will come and sit at the edge of his bed to wake him up by carefully wiping the hair out of his face. Merlin must think that he is the laziest person in the world, that he can't dress himself, and that he needs help with everything. 

But the truth is, Arthur enjoys every little moment. He even thinks about it at night, when Merlin isn't there. It gets to a point where Arthur actively considers finally giving in and hugging his best friend. 

And then, because Arthur Pendragon is not only the king of Camelot but also a huge idiot, he fucks up rather spectacularly. 

It happens when he once again wakes up with an awful headache. It's the third day in a row, he is in the worst of moods, and for some stupid reason, he decides to let it out on Merlin. 

When Merlin enters the room, he immediately snaps at him for being too loud. 

"Did you have no doors in Ealdor? Tell me, Merlin, were there no doors? Did you not learn how to knock?" 

He can tell that Merlin is annoyed by his behavior, but his headache is too bad for him to care. Merlin can deal with it. And Merlin decides that ignoring Arthur is probably the best idea. After all, there isn't much that he could say to this anyway. Arthur knows as well as Merlin does that there are doors in Ealdor. 

"How is your headache today?" he asks instead which just makes Arthur furious. 

"How do you  _ think _ ?" he snaps harder than he intends. It will be okay, he thinks. Merlin knows him. He will know how to deal with his mood. He won't be mad. 

"Oi, someone is grumpy today," Merlin mumbles, and they start to get Arthur ready for the day. That's when it happens. Everything takes too long today, and instead of telling him that he isn't feeling well and would prefer to dress himself today, he continues yelling at Merlin. He has to blame  _ someone,  _ and poor Merlin happens to be there. 

"Why is it, Merlin, that after so many years you are still so goddamn bad at dressing me?" 

"What do you mean?" Merlin answers while he is adjusting Arthur's tunic. 

"You are so slow, it takes you ages to do  _ everything _ . Honestly, why do I even keep you around? You are so useless." 

Merlin just stares at him. 

"Arthur, you need to calm down. I'm doing the same thing that I always do. You like how I dress you. You always complain when someone else does it." Merlin's voice is calm and steady. He isn't the least bit upset. And that's what sends Arthur over the edge. He is feeling bad, so Merlin must feel bad too. It's unfair, but at this moment it seems like the only logical thing to do. 

"You are just a servant, Merlin. Nothing more. How dare you tell me to calm down? Learn your place. You are a  _ servant."  _ He spits the last word out as if it is something disgusting. He sounds like Uther at this moment, and he immediately regrets it, but it's too late. Before he can backtrack, before he can apologize, Merlin snaps back. 

"You want me to be  _ just _ your servant? Nothing more? Fine! If you don't need me anymore,  _ your majesty _ , I'll leave you to it." He looks hurt and upset. Hearing his proper title from Merlin pains him more than he is willing to admit. Merlin bows mockingly deep, and leaves. He doesn't come back until dinner time, but all his duties are done. 

When they see each other again, Merlin plays the perfect servant. He doesn't speak to Arthur, except for things that he has to say. He uses Arthur's title instead of his name. He is quick, polite, and efficient. It's as though their friendship never existed. 

Arthur is so shocked that he forgets that it would be his responsibility to apologize. And he is stubborn. They both are. For 3 long days, they've been playing this game. There are no touches, no talks, nothing. 

On day 4, Arthur has to witness how friendly Merlin is with the knights. He takes time to help them with their armor, they laugh, they talk, and they touch. Their touches are less intimate, less lingering than those that Merlin used to give him, but they are there. Arthur is incredibly hurt and jealous. 

The knights, however, seem to agree with Merlin. Gwaine, for instance, ignores Arthur completely, and even Leon, who always knows his place, comes to Arthur and tells him that he should apologize to Merlin. That night, Arthur cries himself to sleep.

He has no idea what to do. Somehow, he has managed to fuck up the only relationship he actually cared about. He is so scared that Merlin won't forgive him this time. But he won't go down without fighting, that's just not how he is. So he decides that there is only one possible thing to do, and he will do it first thing in the morning. 

Arthur gets up when he sees the first hints of sunrise at the horizon. The night was long, and Arthur has pretty much not slept at all, which gave him more than enough time to think. 

He's thought about the touches, his mistakes, and the jealousy even. Quickly he dresses himself into some pants and a red tunic, and makes his way to through his castle towards the physicians chambers, where he is faced with Gaius. 

"Your majesty. Did something happen?" he asks.

"I'm here to see Merlin. I need to set things right," Arthur answers. He feels like a child who has to explain himself to his friend's father. And even though he is the king, and can see his manservant whenever he wants, he wants to do it right today. He is here as a man. A man who wants to see his friend. 

"I don't know if he is up yet, sire." Gaius looks at him with an expression that Arthur isn't able to read. 

"Thank you, Gaius," Arthur nods. He walks over to the small room that Merlin calls his home, and knocks against the wooden door. There is a sound from inside, and Arthur takes it as his clue to enter _.  _

Merlin is only half awake when Arthur enters. He is still laying on his side, half on top of the blanket, half under it. Arthur walks over and sits down on the edge of the bed. With his hand he carefully removes the hair from Merlin's face, he is warm and soft under his touch. 

"Good morning," he says softly, startling Merlin awake. He looks drowsy and confused. 

"Arthur? What are you doing here?" Arthur continues to softly stroke Merlin's face. "Did something happen?" Then Merlin's expression shifts, and he abruptly sits upright in his bed, forcing Arthur's hand away. "I think you should leave, your --" 

"Please," Arthur interrupts him. "Don't call me that. I'm here to apologize." Merlin jumps out of his bed, and starts to change into his normal clothes. He is incredibly quick. 

"Why? You are the king. You owe me nothing. I'm just your servant, remember?" Merlin looks so hurt, so angry, it makes Arthur’s heart ache. 

"I'm an idiot," he says and rises from the bed, reaching out to touch Merlin's arm. Merlin squints a little at his touch, but doesn't pull away this time. 

"I had a headache," he continues. "And I know that's not an excuse for anything. I just wanted everyone else to feel as bad as I did."

"I tried to make you feel better," Merlin says. He lets Arthur take his hands, and they stand like this while Arthur continues. 

"I know. And instead of letting you, I shoved you away." Arthur doesn't let go of Merlin's hands. He holds them, and they are so warm under his touch. "I treated you poorly. And I want to apologize. You are not just a servant. You never were. You are so much more." 

Merlin's expression softens a little. "What exactly am I to you, Arthur." 

"You are my friend, you are the closest friend I have, and probably the most important person in my life, too. And I really hope I didn't ruin that. Do you forgive me?" 

Merlin doesn't say anything. He turns away from Arthur and grabs a neckerchief from a nearby chair. When he attempts to put it on, Arthur takes it from him. 

" Let me help you," he says. 

"I don't need help. I can do it alone, Arthur."

"I know, but you help me every day. Let me do it. Just once." He smiles. And Merlin smiles back. 

Arthur wraps the neckerchief around Merlin's neck and brings the loose ends back to Merlin's chest. He has seen him doing it many times. Arthur ties a knot and hides it away under the fabric. Then he adjusts it a little, even though it looks perfect. His touches linger longer than necessary, and every one of them sends a shiver through his body. 

"Thank you for apologizing," Merlin says. The smile is back, and so is the warmth in his eyes. Arthur exhales, and tries to fight back the tears of relief. 

"I missed you," Arthur whispers. He means it. Merlin raises a hand and tucks Arthur's hair back behind his ear. 

"I missed you too." Arthur thinks Merlin is going to say something more, but he doesn't. So he decides that it's about time for him to say the words himself. 

"Can we have a hug?" He opens his arms invitingly, and Merlin's eyes go big. 

"I thought you'd never ask," he says, before he leans in for a long, long hug. 

Their bodies fit perfectly together, like two puzzle pieces sliding into place.


End file.
